Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Parenting breakthrough

Wow. We've had a breakthrough at the hamby household. About two weeks ago o was refusing to clean up her mess and I had had enough. After several attempts to get her to do it I just picked everything up and put it in a box. Melt down ensued. So we had a LONG conversation about making good decisions. I explained good vs bad decisions and gave examples of each. I told her when she started making good decisions she could start earning back some of her books/toys i'd picked up. Later that night I asked her to do something and she started to buck me and I reminded her of the good things that happen when she makes good decisions and TADA she did whatever it was that I asked her to do. So all the next week we talked every morning and every afternoon about the good decisions she could make and the ones she did make. We've been doing this ever since. And yesterday I reaped the benefits from it BIG TIME. We went to meet the Cramer's newest addition baby Kate. Olivia and drew were having a grand time. When it was time to leave I could see the melt down coming. And it was going to be ugly. She was having too much fun to leave! So I just looked at her and asked her to make a good decision to leave happy and that if she did then she could "earn" dessert after dinner. And OMG we walked out of there without a tear! Now, I realize this will be considered a bribe. But I firmly believe in rewarding the behavior you want until that behavior is "learned". And we're still learning to make those good decisions. And she knows the consequences for bad decisions are the loss of her toys/privileges. And so far this is working! I've looked at charts. The problem there is that she spends so little time actually at home that I'd have to carry that chart everywhere we go and her daddy would have to get on board at his house and I don't see that happening. So. This is what I decided to focus on and so far so good! I'm quite proud of myself. And I'm extremely proud of o!

So... Speaking of baby Kate!! She is just precious!!

And since she came three weeks early emery and I decorated their house as a surprise for when they got home!

And o's official first boyfriend. Brett bell. Young love...

And.... Last night we went to jenny and john's for dinner. When time to leave o insisted she wanted to spend the night. Jenny and john were on board so she had her first sleepover at their house. They kept her one night last summer when I was out of town. But this time I was home and she was at their house. It was kind of weird! But o has talked about it all day so I know it's something she'll remember. They got up this morning, had breakfast and then jenny took her to school! I remember LOVING to stay at my aunt/uncle's growing up and I hope Olivia has just as much fun with her aunts/uncles!!

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1 comment:

  1. I'll have to start using the good decisions/bad decisions/ rewards dialogue with David Scott. Thanks for the tip!