Friday, February 17, 2012

life as a single mom

I linked up to kelly’s korner today so I thought I better give a glimpse into my life.  I’ve been a single mom since olivia was 6 months old (she’ll be 3 this May.)  it’s not how I EVER envisioned my life.  but it is what it is.  I’ve accepted it and we are so much better off now than we were when I was married.  He wasn’t a bad person and he’s a great, involved father.  without going into too much detail (you can read more HERE) let’s just say we’re happier apart than we were married.

I work fulltime and have olivia every sunday night through wed morning and every other weekend.  we basically have a 50/50 split.  her father is a CPA so I do have her some extra time during tax season.  we don’t lead a glamorous life but we have fun!  I do feel like I miss out on a lot of her life b/c I only have her about 50% of the time but I’ve just had to come to grips with it.  Getting divorced will do that to you.  you grieve for a while but you have that “a ha” moment when you wake up one morning and tell yourself to put on your big girl panties and deal with it.  this is your life and you have to make the best of it.  if you don’t, no one else will do it for you.

we are attempting to co-parent in separate households.  and so far it’s working.  we communicate at least every other day about issues regarding olivia.  from the mundane to the more serious.  we both want to be as involved as possible in her life so this is our solution.  we take her places together periodically (like 2-3 times a year, don’t think it’s like every month or anything like that!)  we help each other out when they need it (like tax season and if something comes up out of the ordinary the other will go pick her up from daycare, etc.)  from all accounts this is the best way to handle a terrible situation.  olivia never sees us argue and we work out issues regarding her on our own.  I realize that this makes him a bigger part of my life than I’d ideally want him to be but he is her father so I deal with it.  the professionals tell me this is the way to go.  I hope they are right!

I wouldn’t have made it to today without my family and friends.  and let me tell you…you find out who your real friends are when tragedy strikes.  funny how it always works out like that.  I’ve spent the last 2 years weeding out the bad in my life and focusing on the good.  and I’m in a MUCH better spot than I used to be!  my parents help so much with olivia.  I’d go broke paying for babysitters if it weren’t for them! 

when it’s all said and done I can’t see my life any other way right now.  God has a plan for us all and this is part of it.  I don’t have to understand why right now.  He will reveal that in due time.  If you’re coming over from kelly’s site and are new to this whole single mom thing just know that you are not alone!  I worry everyday that I’m seriously messing up my child’s life/well being.  but then I remind myself that as long as I’m doing my best then it will all work out in the end.


  1. Good post! I don't know anybody who has the perfect life they envisioned. We just take the hand we're dealt and go from there. And we're all gonna screw our kids up in some way; we just have to do our best and pray that it's nothing major. ;) I have a hunch that sweet O will be just fine.

  2. Way to focus on the positive Jessie! So proud of you, you're a great person. I don't know how you do it especially in a small town like that. Sending love to you and Olivia!

  3. Beautifully put! You are a great mom and yOu make Olivia's life full and fun! My hat goes off to you for being so positive. What an inspiration for us all.

  4. well said. thank you for writing this!

  5. Stopping by from Kelly's Korner as another single mom. This post was so well written & I can relate on so many levels. I've been a single mom since my lil man was 4 months old (now 2.5). It's so good to hear that there are other divorced parents out there that will do anything to get along for the sake of their child. This is what me and my ex try to do & I admire you for doing it as well, especially for Olivia.

    Thank you for sharing, it's not every day I find someone I can relate to! =)