it finally happened. i'd been waiting on it while also thinking that we may skip it all together. we hit the terrible 2's in public and it wasn't pretty. our kindermusik class was cancelled tonight so i decided to take olivia to christmas in the plaza at tech. (yet another kid friendly activity that tech does all for free - pics with santa; jumpy things; build a bear, cookie and ornament decorating, food, computerized charicatures (sp?), etc...) i loved this event when i was in college so thought it'd be a great idea. well, o now has a mind of her own and apparently thinks she doesn't have to mind me. she now refuses to hold my hand in public or to follow my directions.
here's a recap of our experience:
*arrive and pitch fit b/c i carry her across the street instead of letting her walk.
*go in and pitch another small fit b/c i want to hold her hand in the crowd.
*find santa and take a great pic by kevin beasley that i probably won't get b/c we ended up having to leave.
*chase o for a few minutes. i gave her a little freedom to "roam" with me closely behind and maybe that was a bad idea...
*try to buy a shirt but o wouldn't stand still long enough for me to fish out my wallet so leave that line.
*watch kids in jumpy. let her touch it and watch for a minute to make sure this is what she wants to do. she leads me to believe she wants in. i take her shoes off and put her in. before i even have my camera out she's screaming and wants out. but thanks to the little girl in there that helped "the crying baby" out safely!
*head to chick-fil-a (b/c free food at a college event scares me!) and pitch fit b/c i hold her to keep her from running off.
*get food and find table. obviously no high-chairs at a college dining hall.
*she sits still long enough to eat 3 chicken nuggets and then sees my lemonade.
*the short version - i didn't get anymore lemonade.
*head out and pitch another fit b/c i poured out the lemonade to prevent it from being poured out in my car.
i had to resist a spanking in public. i don't know the rules about spanking in public (other than it's extremely tacky). and i've never done time-out so that's not an option b/c she doesn't know what it is. how sternly can you speak to your child in public about their behavior? HELP!!!
so, unless i'm ready to discipline in public i think our outings may be cut short. but i can't quit taking her out all together. then there are no opportunities to learn how to act in public.
this is the only pic i got of the night. this was obviously after she decided my lemonade was better than her milk. and being the terrible parent i am i'd rather give it to her than have her cause a scene. again, i need help...
can anyone suggest a good book on disciplining/parenting a toddler?
and all of this is probably my fault. when we're in controlled public places (football games, basketball games, places where i know a lot of people) i don't make her hold my hand every second and let her roam for a while (hoping to wear her out!) hind sight's 20/20. that was obviously a bad decision. i know that this is just a phase and it will pass. i just hope it passes sooner rather than later!
Someone told me to look at the Happiest Toddler on the Block. I checked it out from the library, but haven't read it yet. I need to read it soon because I have a feeling my o is following in your o's footsteps!
ReplyDeleteWe are having the same problem. Huge public fits and I don't know how to discipline her in public. I may check out Happiest Toddler on the Block too... Happiest Baby on the Block was a life saver. =) One thing I have found helpful for public outings is this thing called the Kinder Kord. It straps to C's wrist & mine and she can wander around, but is still latched to me. It makes her feel independent, but keeps her from running off. It doesn't do much good when she starts screaming & slapping me, though. Hope this helps. =)
ReplyDeleteWe got the backpack leash at walmart. They are little stuffed animals that strap to their back, so the kids think it is kind of fun. I would always say, "Lets put the monkey on your back!". And of course, I am all about the bribes. If you stay together, then you can get a treat when we go home or even shorter terms if the timing is too long. I still use that one and it works WELL!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, you are being WAY too hard on yourself. You haven't done anything wrong, or else we all have so you are in good company. Preston went through a BAD running away stage-worst incident in Green Clinic parking lot where he writhed to get away from me with so much force he hurt his shoulder. He is better now, not perfect, but better. Give it 6 months or so...
ReplyDeleteI'm telling you, that is ALL normal behavior! It's hard being a parent and you are doing a wonderful job! I wish there were perfect words to answer your questions but there aren't. Most of us are still battling our children's behavior daily. And I'm the tacky parent that will whip in public if needed;)!!
ReplyDeleteI just read 1-2-3 Magic. Pretty much just teaches you about properly counting to 3 and time out. It was kind of vague for this age when out in public, but I think it had some good insights.
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